Stay Informed

Why does discussing domestic violence matter?

• 1 in 4 women will be affected by domestic violence in her lifetime
• Over 7,000 domestic violence cases were reported locally last year
• Typically DV is reported after the 8th incident

What is Domestic Violence?

• Most people associate domestic violence solely with physical abuse.

Domestic violence is much more:

• It’s a pattern of coercive behavior
• Power and control in the relationship is unbalanced between the two partners
• Utilizes intimidation, threatening, harm, and harassment
• Intentionally or recklessly restricts the freedom of one of the partners

Types of Abuse

Emotional

• Name-calling, put-downs, criticizing, humiliating, yelling, intimidating, using the children, coercion. Minimizing (“you’re not that hurt”) denying, neglecting, leaving/abandoning. Threatening (to kill, physically harm, take the kids, to commit suicide), destroying property, mind games. Controlling (isolating, limiting freedom, friends, attire, money, etc.), interrogating. Terrorizing, stalking, following.

Physical

• Pinching, flicking, restraining, pulling or yanking on hair/arms/legs, twisting arms/wrists. Pushing, shoving, wrestling/tackling, blocking from leaving, grabbing, pinning down. Punching, slapping, kicking, stomping, biting, and scratching. Choking, stabbing, throwing, burning, and shooting.

Sexual

• Forcing unwanted sexual acts. Forcing victim to dress provocatively. Forced prostitution. Forced viewing of or participating in pornography. Rape.

Financial

• Withholding money or access to family finances; including information about them. Keeping or taking victim’s paycheck. Forcing victim to live within unrealistic allowance or forcing victim to beg for money. Prohibiting victim from working.

Spritual

• Attacking religious or spiritual beliefs, using scripture to justify abuse.

Homophobic

• Threatening to “out” the victim’s sexual orientation

Immigration Status

• Using fear of deportation

Destructive Habits

• Destruction of the victim’s property, vandalism, harming or killing pets

You may ask yourself, “Why does it matter that I learn about domestic violence?”

• If you yourself aren’t affected, someone you know will be.

Many people ask the question, “Why doesn’t she just leave?”

Possible reasons:

• Low self-esteem
• Failure to recognize abuse
• Dependence
• “For the children”
• Isolated
• Traditional values
• Family or social pressure
• Hope
• Love

What is a Healthy Relationship?

• In healthy relationships the scale of power is not greatly favored for one partner, the relationship is mutually beneficial
• There are four key elements:
  • Trust
  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Security