Stay Informed

Stay Informed

Creating a community free of domestic violence requires continual information sharing and dialogue. Stay connected with us through the information resources on this page and – please – share what you learn.

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What Everyone Needs to Know About Domestic Violence

Why does discussing domestic violence matter?

  • 1 in 4 women will be affected by domestic violence in her lifetime
  • Over 7,000 domestic violence cases were reported locally last year
  • Typically DV is reported after the 8th incident

What is Domestic Violence?

  • Most people associate domestic violence solely with physical abuse.

Domestic violence is much more:

  • It’s a pattern of coercive behavior
  • Power and control in the relationship is unbalanced between the two partners
  • Utilizes intimidation, threatening, harm, and harassment
  • Intentionally or recklessly restricts the freedom of one of the partners

Types of Abuse

Emotional

  • Name-calling, put-downs, criticizing, humiliating, yelling, intimidating, using the children, coercion. Minimizing (“you’re not that hurt”) denying, neglecting, leaving/abandoning. Threatening (to kill, physically harm, take the kids, to commit suicide), destroying property, mind games. Controlling (isolating, limiting freedom, friends, attire, money, etc.), interrogating. Terrorizing, stalking, following.

Physical

  • Pinching, flicking, restraining, pulling or yanking on hair/arms/legs, twisting arms/wrists. Pushing, shoving, wrestling/tackling, blocking from leaving, grabbing, pinning down. Punching, slapping, kicking, stomping, biting, and scratching. Choking, stabbing, throwing, burning, and shooting.

Sexual

  • Forcing unwanted sexual acts. Forcing victim to dress provocatively. Forced prostitution. Forced viewing of or participating in pornography. Rape.

Financial

  • Withholding money or access to family finances; including information about them. Keeping or taking victim’s paycheck. Forcing victim to live within unrealistic allowance or forcing victim to beg for money. Prohibiting victim from working.

Spritual

  • Attacking religious or spiritual beliefs, using scripture to justify abuse.

Homophobic

  • Threatening to “out” the victim’s sexual orientation

Immigration Status

  • Using fear of deportation

Destructive Habits

  • Destruction of the victim’s property, vandalism, harming or killing pets

You may ask yourself, “Why does it matter that I learn about domestic violence?”

  • If you yourself aren’t affected, someone you know will be.

Many people ask the question, “Why doesn’t she just leave?”

Possible reasons:

  • Low self-esteem
  • Failure to recognize abuse
  • Dependence
  • “For the children”
  • Isolated
  • Traditional values
  • Family or social pressure
  • Hope
  • Love

What is a Healthy Relationship?

  • In healthy relationships the scale of power is not greatly favored for one partner, the relationship is mutually beneficial
  • There are four key elements:
    • Trust
    • Honesty
    • Respect
    • Security
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